Television! Drug of the Nation!

I've just been asked to appear on BBC1 Breakfast News at around 7.20am tomorrow (Friday) so I can whore myself shamelessly for two minutes, while talking about the importance of school uniform. Read that anyway you like. Apparently the taxi will come to pick me up at 6am, presumably to whisk me into make-up, and Marmalade jokes with Carol Thatcher in the Green Room.

Might tell them I'll get the Tube instead, and claim the fare back off my licence fee. I'll try not to be too awful.

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